"Wishing For A Wish"

Wishing upon a star,

Hoping this dream

Of coping and love

Can get me far.

 

Want to see those

Crystal eyes of yours once again.

Not just for one last time

But for the rest of my life.

 

For what can feel like lifetimes.

 

Just thought of you.

In every little action,

The world focuses and obsesses

Over my big reaction.

 

I was always thought that I was numb

But maybe that I lost my

Way without a shining

Star of the sea like you.

 

I’m losing myself asking

And praying for when I’ll see you next.

My mistakes are bleeding

Into my words.

 

Wish I could love you again.

Because I’m sick of

Hating myself for what I did.

 

Sick enough to where

The poison never

Bothers to wanna leave

The veins underneath my skin.

 

Your laugh makes angels cry in delight

But all I remember is the

Day your tears fell.

 

Can I get a do over?

Because I hate where

I led myself,

To a future without you.

 

And the pain is just cruel.

 

Your hair shines,

Your lips they’re pink and divine.

Your smile injects me with life.

And all I did was use my actions as a knife.

 

I can’t keep up with these thoughts.

Can’t help but miss you.

Can’t help but be angry with you.

Can’t help but love you.

 

Wish I could wish upon a star,

Find a reality where my dream could be set free.

But it’s all in a cage where the blood

Runs cold on the ground.

 

And I keep trying to make a sound.

Yet, the blood inside is just too numb.

Yet, the hatred inside never runs out.

 

And I just keep looking back when

They’ve told me it’s okay to let go.

But who could ever let you go?

An angel on earth that I only hurt.

 

Maybe I’ve always been numb.

Maybe I’m too nostalgic over the edge.

But maybe I wish this desire was enough

To make my dream become a reality.

 

It’s my desire and now I’m living in constant heartache.

I live with my actions and I’m now I’m numb.

Kept trying to move on but more and more

I see you were the woman who I wanted the most.

 

Everyday without you, my heart sinks deeper.

Everyday without you, I lose touch with who I am.

And maybe I’ll the rest of the days screaming into the void:

Saying that this is what I want and never get what I prayed for.

 

Stuck forever in this desolate land,

Never letting the numbness out of my head.

And do I need to relive this pain?

Because this feels like it lasts every moment of this daybreak.

 

In this warped purgatory I stand,

Stuck forever in these numb sands,

No matter the achievements brought, no matter how I mask the pain,

Babe, I’ll miss you for the rest of my days.

 

Maybe I’ve been too numb.

To see that you loved me too.

Too numb to see the skies.

Clear when the world was grey.

 

Wish I could turn the constant noise off.

Wish I could hold you and everything be all right.

Maybe I’m still broken.

Maybe everybody’s got the wrong idea of me.

 

And now I look at myself as the man in the mirror,

The terror who ruined my own life.

The poison runs deep,

The numbness never yearns to cease.

 

Bridges burnt but why I am I complaining?

I’m the one worse than

A monster, here.

 

To see your smile again would be a miracle,

Convert the atheists in the trenches.

But I’m sure that I wasted.

My chance to see such a beautiful thing.

 

Call me a man on the moon,

Because I’m a slave on Europa.

Living my days frozen and numb

As if I was always stumbling around a block of ice.

 

Wish I could see you again. Not just a last time but for the rest of my life. Wish I could be stronger than I am, because I wish I could make it happen.