"Abstract"

Everything seems so off,

No one wants to give

Me a satisfying answer

To what I’m going through.

 

Pondering my time away from there.

Found a place where

Water runs from the ground

Into the sky without a sound.

 

Some days I hold onto the emotions

That are fleeting.

Don’t remember where they

Originate from but perhaps it is better to bury them.

 

With you, I feel contempt here.

Losing my mind.

Only here with you

I find a place where my sanity can be appreciated.

 

Losing my time while walking

Upside down.

These falls, the water

Clears my head.

 

And yet the static noise

Drowns out what person

Of mine remains above

The drowning tides.

 

Just want a moment where

You and I can drown the noise out for once.

A touch of sky that brings contentment.

 

I can’t keep up with others

When they say they don’t hear anything.

I’m amused at their claim

That they live silently.

 

Want to walk around this abstract world.

Maybe then I’ll find my way to a new home.

A place where I don’t lose my train

Of thoughts to the numbing buzz.

 

I want us to escape from the

Chains that bind us to

This maze.

So here we’ll find a new place to make home.

 

And I want to stay here.

Away from the toxic atmosphere

Of the walls I make up

In my mind.

 

Sometimes I’m not strong enough

To say when I need help.

So maybe here in paradise

I can stop trying to run after things that’ll hurt me.

 

Far away from the place

I could never reach.

At least I’m here away from the pain

That desires to come after me.

 

I’ve got nothing left to burn.

No more fires that aren’t made

Of anything.

 

I can’t let this noise go on.

It’s too abstract to make a sound.

The water’s gushing from the ground

Into the sky.

 

So fly me so far away,

Where the noise can never reach me.

Bury me where I can’t live a life

Where I lose touch with reality.

 

Losing to the noise and thus

There lies no shred left of my sanity.

I’ll spend time here in paradise

Where I can find security in going numb.

 

I want a place to belong.

So I’ll just stay here near the falls.

Watching abstract landscapes

Deranged yet looking natural all the same.

 

Anything to live a normal life…

 

The sky looks warped and surrealistic blue.

Hazy white clouds here and there.

Wasn’t it always looking like this?

 

Can’t say I’ll know what be when I fade away.

Maybe grow to be another voice in the sound?

I just wish I could replay the glory days,

Maybe then I wouldn’t be suffering.

 

I wish I could stay in a place like this.

Abstract but beautiful within.

Anyplace that I can call my own.

Anywhere I’m not losing to the noise.

 

As long as I can ease the pain,

No more salt on the gaping wounds to pound away at my remaining sanity.

I was angry, confused, and wanted to drown.

But here I find a place, here I find a reason to stay in paradise and not be found.

Am I so far gone that I need insanity to replace my pain? 

The abstraction from reality only feels natural to me.

Is it so wrong to want a new ending?  

What I’m made to do, I know they’re all to blame.

"Antioch Medication corps say that it is best to be medicated on our product to survive. Without it, walking through dreams is a potential side effect experts warn about. This can be fatal."