"Nothing Left To My Name"

Killing time without a course of my own.

No one wants to be friends

With a shadow of a man.

 

I’m trying to not

Let this be the twilight

Of my final hours.

 

But some days I lose

Track of it

The man I am was

Built by traits of others.

 

No control over the situation again.

And I’m running the numbers in my head.

No way out of my own

Impostor syndrome.

 

And I’m living like a shadow

Of the man I am.

As if I’ve got

Nothing left to my name.

And to my discomfort, the crows

Gossip about the man

Without a name.

 

Some days I feel like

A shadow of a person.

Killing time only to realize

There’s no path left for me to remain on.

 

The twilight reminds me that

My time is short.

Without an identity of my own,

What good is it to live in a world that’s all corporate.

 

Everybody knows that they

Wanna make us numbers

In a system that benefits the elites.

But what does that mean for a man who’s got no face?

 

Got nothing left to my name.

It isn’t mine and I’m only

Running out of time.

 

Without a goal or a reason

To exist, I float

On an ocean of nihilism.

 

Staring at the sea

Of a singular but plural

Thing that can

Drown me.

 

And now all I see

Is the death of me.

Living as a shadow

Without the ability to be.

 

I’m losing to myself again.

Burying myself in the twilight of my final hours.

Nothing left to my name,

It isn’t mine anymore.

 

Losing to myself again.

 

Impostor syndrome that

Casts me out to the

Endless black

Nihilistic sea.

 

I’m losing to myself again…

Can’t ever think of making

A name for myself again.

Was my identity what made me who I was?

 

The impostor syndrome is getting worse.

No amount of medication

Relieves the tension from my brain.

Repeating the same line of inability.

 

The sky blazes twilight red

As if it was a ruby star.

And there’s no identity I

Can claim for myself.

 

No identity that

Makes life better than a living hell.

The meds don’t work

For someone who has no tolerance for a cure.

 

Nothing left to my name anymore!

And I’m living like a shadow

Who doesn’t find a

Reason to exist.

 

Staring at the sky,

As I float on an

Endless sea of nihilism

That seems to surround me.

 

Impostor syndrome just really gets to me.

 

“AntiochProductions news channel is reporting on an identity theft that has happened in twilight county. A man’s identity was stolen and he woke up unable to say his name for hours until returned. Experts are saying that he’ll need to recover in therapy in order to regrow confidence in who he was. If he was even ever himself in the first place. More news at the next hour, next hear about the brand new Poetry Collection being released this Summer called: “Abstraction”.