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"Wishful Thinking"

sebastianantioch


Waking up today wishing that

Maybe I could be someone else for a

Change, wouldn’t it be

So better if I could fly away?


I lost them that day,

To this cold cold world.

And maybe it’s my fault

For not being so careful when I wanted to leave it all.


I was so alone by myself

That I never once thought of them

Being there for me

And now I’ve paid the price.


My ambitions and my greed

Are like a doomsday machine,

One day it’ll all explode but

Until now I need to let this roll.


Maybe it’s wishful thinking that

I can find my way out

Of this world that wants to

Make me inside out.


Like a gatling gun

That never stops firing,

I’m cornered against it all as

I’m running to find my own place in this world.


This isn’t a world that loves heroes after all.

It’s only a den of vicious monsters

That wants us all to submit to these mundane rules

Of sacrificing one another.


I tried playing it

Like a game,

Creating the best strategy

Yet I still ended up losing so many friends along the way.


And maybe one day

I could wake up as somebody else but

Until then I guess I’ll have to contend with

Losing it all.


And maybe, just maybe,

I won’t poison the well

Where all the living water lies…


On the run, again and again.

There’s no stopping it once it’s begun.

Pointless struggles,

My greed only ends up biting me.


All I wanted to do was go home,

But here I am so lost…

Everything ends up as 404 - NOT FOUND.


If just for one day I could rest

Back home without hating myself.

I could see myself differently,

Maybe everything I did to impress others would actually impress myself.


And maybe I could finally

Find out where they’ve been for so long,

Hoping that we could let bygones be bygones

Because I’m so sick of all the drama.


I know it’s wishful thinking after I

Made this mistake! But there’s just gotta be

Something left for me to have!


There’s gotta be a reason

Why I’m stuck 6 feet underground,

Not knowing why I am who I am

While I’m getting attacked by the monsters who I could’ve sworn were under my bed.


And I’m lost trying find them

In this abandoned world.

Full of things and people

That I don’t care to know.


Maybe it’s wishful thinking to

Think I could truly atone.

There’s nothing left but to wish I could finally

Find my way home.


Everything was left here

Because no one loved it enough

To carry onto after the end.


This world is so distant and

I’m falling into the trap

Of comparison yet again

Only to have unrealistic hope.


I keep forgetting that I’m all

Alone in how I’m feeling.

No time to have wishful

Thinking as I’m trying to survive.


Perhaps this lost forgotten

Land echoes my name

So that I may find a grave

Fitting for all of my broken dreams.


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