"Shattered Diamonds"

Maybe I wanna have a break, 

Something to change

Because there gotta be something wrong with me 

If I’m holding up the line all the time. 

Don’t you ever wonder why you’re so alone? 

In this rage there’s only the bitter cold. 

Knowing doesn’t change the fact that 

This is still the reality we know. 

And I’m frozen alive trying to jump start my heart from the inside.

I wanna shatter me, 

Wouldn’t it be better than seeing 

The night sky with so many vibrant colors 

That allude me. 

Just wanna scream out 

But I got no mouth. 

My tongue is cold with fear 

And I can’t get near the fire to warm myself. 

There’s the inclination to say it doesn’t matter

But then I know I’d only be fooling myself.

What do I want ? Because it doesn’t matter. 

I’m frozen and feel like anti-matter. 

These chains have freezed 

And now won’t come off. 

Frostbitten but the rage won’t melt the pain.

Shattered diamonds in the rough, 

Hate how we try to continue acting tough. 

But we’re all dust in the wind 

As things change. 

The snow gets in the way, 

Reminds me that my sins can never turn into white. 

I’ll always be losing this fight. 

It doesn’t matter if I tried. 

Because I’d always be risking it all 

Again for something that bites me in the back. 

Do I really want to retread that pain? 

Hoped to find a reason to try again. 

But the apathy haunts the cold air,

Too much white and I can’t 

Make out a road in front of me to walk across. 

At some point you need to ask yourself when to quit trying to leave before the frostbite kicks in. 

We’re all trying to escape a fate 

That we’ll be all alone in the end. 

The white void of snow 

Covers any chances we got of hope.

We all feared the volcanos and the thunderstorms. 

Chased twisters and tornadoes 

When we should’ve been worried about the blizzard that would blind our eyes. 

The apathy is just inside tonight, 

Snow covers the tomb and there ain’t any regrets, 

Just the feeling of not caring. 

Is this better than being angry? That’s a question I have no choice but to answer now.

The voices in my head come back to haunt me as I’m frozen…

They say “When you’re alone, 

When we’re happy by ourselves living our lives 

Away from you, yeah 

Don’t you be surprised. 

Did this to yourself, 

Don’t you think we of all 

People deserve joy? 

After what you did this punishment is the best you can give. 

Live frozen, burning up with agony from the inside, because you’re a shattered diamond at best.”

The moon is there, looking at me 

As I fall backwards into the chilling 

Arctic seas. It’s an abyss of all black 

During the night, fitting the atmosphere as I freeze. 

I can’t let this change my resolve 

As I shatter without realizing 

I was a diamond in the rough all along, 

The irony is not lost in this arctic graveyard. 

Just sing your hymns,

Sing about your everlasting joy! 

Aren’t you hypocrites preaching 

Your goodness when you’re just like me?! 

Be happy while there are innocent 

Souls drifting at sea! 

Trapped in the cold abyss 

That drags them to hell and back! 

Live your life being happy as if you got here by taking joy away! Live it as a hypocrite like me! 

Let me freeze in the abyss myself, 

Let me burn this arctic pain away.

Live your oh so joyous life. 

I’ll always consider you a hypocrite. 

Preaching joy when you took it away from me. 

I got nowhere and those decisions are marked within snow,

But know that these chilling souls will haunt 

You at the end of time. Can’t let you get the last word when we’re cold without life. 

Live your life. 

Live your lie. 

Sing hymns and carols when you know deep down you’re a hypocrite like me. 

Ring the bells of the Church, because just like us you don’t get to escape the judgment at the end of time. 

Ring the bells. Because this season I’ve lost the apathy only to gain the gift of rage.