"Gravity"

Staring at the blue orb of existence in the face, 

I start to remember my regrets and purpose. 

Start to mourn my wounds,

Hoping that forgiveness is near as the fire falls. 

Everyone was so happy there, 

Yet I felt like I was crushed by the weight of 

Gravity that pulled the desire to continue apart.

Adrift in space… With no calls, no cries, just empty thoughts. 

I hated how I could never lift off like the rest, 

Blast through the stratosphere without 

Feeling like I’m not myself. 

Had to mask my fears and anxieties, the only way to survive. 

It was an endless race on a factory line. 

Couldn’t keep up so they threw me to the side. 

I drifted off in space, 

Seeing the blue orb be full of life. 

All of this without me…

Missed the person who was always at my side, 

Even when they betrayed me and fired me off into space.

The governments took credit for my achievements, 

Made back ended deals to send me off as if they were using me for blood money.

Hard to believe they sent me to drift above the world

When all along it felt as if they sent me to Hell. 

Had to rebuild my life hand by hand, piece by piece.

While others praised those who got rid of me. 

It was a sad reality,

I paid for my mistakes with pills and wine. 

Spent so much time in a dark room looking at my own reflection, 

Seeing a shell of a man who died. 

Speeding down, watching the 

Blue orb of reality 

Stare me down 

As I defy the laws of nature. 

Burning as I fall down, 

Watching the stars as they stare at me. 

Reminds me of that dreaded day 

I lost everything. 

Falling down from space, 

I see the divide between 

Reality and fiction.

Do stories really matter 

As much as people are saying?

Aren’t they all just words 

That burn up when the thermosphere gets too hot?

Do you know how nauseating it is 

When I hear them praise the work 

Of those who took my life and pride?

Had to live in so much pressure,

Gravity of the situation pulling me 

Down onto the Earth in an instant.

Hated that I lost myself to the noise of it all without a fight. 

Does it mean that I need 

To try something new? 

Because everyone doesn’t like what I’m putting out? 

Can’t I just like what I’m making?

Thought I was always going to be numb, 

But I’m trying to rebuild my life. 

Opened my heart up again, 

Hoping to dispel any remaining strife.

They all got the credit, 

As I had to learn to live 

Without any of the perks 

That came with the glory.

You wanted to keep it all dead and buried when I lost it all…

Thought that I’d always be numb… 

You wish I never fell into the gutter. 

But you gotta admit that it was 

Also your fault, 

Keeping me tied in your cracks and vaults. 

Never was able to stop being 

Insecure because of your 

False gravity defying expectations. 

I lived here for what seemed like years, 

Unable to catch my breath. 

Drowned in the abyss, 

No one reached their hand out to save me. 

Don’t want to derail your life, 

Just wanna live my life. 

Just wanna live it without 

Falling from the sky… 

I fall back onto the Earth and everyone thinks I’m still the same.

What can I do to change? 

Am I damned to this existence?

Why can’t I get out? 

Do I really need to come back here? 

Thought that I’d always be numb… But now I’m done with that part of the fall. 

Wish I never tried to relapse and call your number, 

But now I’m finally free to take control of my own life.

Gravity falls and here I am too. 

Was drowning in the blood of the machine

But here I am still standing. 

Others still don't know my story. 

They don’t get to say what’s wrong with me. 

Now I’m done putting the blame 

On others and saying that I’m still numb, 

I’ll fall onto the earth and 

Grow a new eden. 

Thought that I’d never be loved, 

But I gotta break through the heavy metal 

That is depression. 

I’ll unearth my thunder. 

I won’t give up. 

No matter what wounds take place on the 

Temple that I was gifted with.

No matter the heartbreak, 

I’ll always get up.

I don’t seek out others for approval, 

Others come to me to see hope and dignity. 

I’m done living in the past. This time I can finally let go and brace for a new impact.

Finally falling from the stars onto 

A blue orb of gravity, 

I see the divide between 

Fiction and reality.

They aren’t so different, 

Life is a story 

That you can accept or burn away.

Burn, rip, tear the pages out. 

Anything to get the artificial taste out!

Fiction and reality divide 

As I see the burning fire 

Engulf me when 

Falling from the sky. 

Doesn’t matter where I’ve been,

The story hasn’t changed. 

It doesn’t add up all the same 

But sometimes good things will always remain.