I wanted to end this first set of poems with Burnt Out And Want To Get Out but I felt called to write one more big piece on lingering feelings for someone in a past chapter of my life. I wanted to include some lines from the newer poems I’ve written so this could be a nice finale to this set. There was a time in the last year of my life where I hurt someone by having miscommunication with them, I was unable to tell them the truth which would have helped both of us. But I wasn’t mentally well so I told them the wrong thing which led to drama and eventually them leaving my life. Things like this are hard to get over and I had to ask myself if I deserved to move on from the pain. The answer is yes, yes I do. So this poem was written about learning to let go and understand that it is okay to get help. It’s okay to go and start a new chapter in life, even if they’re not in it (even though you still wish they were). This is all one big last goodbye. The ending refers back to Glory Days as I wanted it to loop back to the beginning.
Things have changed in my life a lot. I’ve been down in the gutter and I hate to admit it because to some people this completely came out as a shock. This is how I truly felt underneath it all. It was kind of scary getting my thoughts out there for people to read because I had no idea how it would come out. Concerns came at the idea of my poetry coming across as pure complaining. I didn’t intend that. I just wanted to say what I’ve been keeping inside of me for so long. I was sick of not being able to say anything. Which then relates to this specific poem because I was sick of being unable to tell the person I missed that I missed them! Everything that happened would always just kill my mood for the longest time. So I decided that I needed to write about it because I’ve always been doing that when I am feeling passionate about something. Originally I just wanted to put these poems into a PDF somewhere and throw it on the internet, not looking back. But then I started to respect my craft. I wanted to build something better than that, so out of it came AntiochProductions. A place where I can say what I wanna say, write for what I want to. I hope you enjoyed reading the first collection… but there’s one more thing that remains to be buried.
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