"Baptism Of Snow"

The world is too cold 

And we’re all looking at our phones, 

Being consumed in artificial light 

For the sake of scrolling for entertainment. 

Instead of loving each other and 

Giving it our best to present love this time of year 

There’s only the pain of being invincible and forgotten.

My sins are so great that I’m 

Haunted to the point where the meds aren’t enough,

They aren’t enough to cast out 

The shadow of the ghouls under my feet.

Now you can disagree with what I say, 

You can tell me I need to try more, 

Tell me that I’m even too repetitive 

But you don’t get to say there’s something wrong with me

The softness of the snow on my eyes 

Brings tears to my face. 

Can’t keep the fog off my eyes, 

Creates an illusion that I’m actually happy. 

No one remembers how to be kind. 

They only buy buy buy until 

Their materialistic mind 

Finds satisfaction. 

The red sun in the snowlight 

Is where I wanna be baptized. 

Baptize me in the snow, 

Because the white void is the only thing I got left. 

We’re supposed to singing and telling ghost stories

But reality is already one, 

No need to try to make up fiction to fill in the holes. 

Does nobody really need me as the seasons change?! 

Unwanted in this snowfall

And it terrifies that nobody 

Has yet bothered to call my name. 

Terrified and cold all the same these days. 

Can’t let the noise drown out 

The thoughts of wanting joy. 

But I’ve crumbled into stardust. 

Is what we’re trying to do not enough? 

Tonight I’m buried alive

In this panic I can’t hide. 

Is this really what living is like? 

I’m scared to find out the answer 

To my problems because then I’d have 

To actually do something about them. 

Living life in ignorance sounds 

Better than whatever this fear of the unknown can come up with. 

Will I ever find joy again in the little things? 

Everyone’s smiling and laughing while I’m holding my head down. 

Do we want to sing carols 

And deck the halls when 

We’re dying and nobody wants 

To hear out pleas or calls?

“Provide the entertainment, 

Then we’ll pay the way forward. 

You’re only what you can provide, 

And it doesn’t mean anything to us if you can’t supply”.

Does it matter if this is different? 

Or are you complaining because I’m not 

The same as you during this time of year? 

Do you actually care about what I put out there 

Or do you not like it?

Because I’m sick of trying to win the 

Approval of people who don’t see the real me. 

Baptize me in the snow, 

Maybe then my crimson sins 

Can finally be cleaned off. 

I need the cold as a punishment. 

Baptize me I said, 

I need it if I want to be free from guilt! 

Baptize me! 

It’s the only thing I have to free me from those ghouls!

Who can free me from my sins?! 

They drip out of my wounds 

Like dark red blood, 

Unable to fade away with bandages. 

Is it over…

Am I free from their joyful smiles? 

Dunno what to smile about so…

BAPTIZE ME, I NEED TO BE FREE TONIGHT.

WANT TO FEEL WHAT OTHERS FEEL.

BUT I HATE THAT I NEED TO CHANGE MYSELF FOR APPROVAL.